Thank you everyone.

Orange Moira, i am calmer now, but more depressed than anxious. I took a 2 hr nap and so the immediate panic is gone but just sad, i think. And scared. Yes i am/was anxious about court but strangely not all that much. I've gotten myself to a place where it's only mild anxiety where that is concerned. It should be pretty straight forward, barring any last minute surprises.

Thank you CyranO. Here i've been so proud of how well i've been managing my anxiety, and then BAM! this hits and i'm scared. IF it were only the liver, i wouldn't even be that worried, as theoretically, quit the medication, damage is reversed. It's the heart thing that scares the crap out of me.

Thank you Shezbut, writing is definitely my mode of choice for apts, i think i will do that, although i may just bring someone tomorrow anyway because i'm scared! lol

It truly doesn't help that for the last several weeks i am so very incredibly tired and sleep. A lot. Or that my fingers/toes turn blue. Or that sometimes i see blue/gray around my lips/sides of my nose. The tiredness i've been trying to figure out but always attribute it to stress or whatever, although normally i'm not THIS tired no matter how stressed i am. The blue/gray i've definitely pondered, wondering 'heart?' but then think, okay, maybe i'm cold (i've been FREEEEZZZINNNNGGGGG cold lately) or just imagining things. Except that now, i just talked to my x and asked him if he's noticed the blue on my nose/lips he said not my lips but definitely the nose. So i know now i'm not imagining it. I asked him WHY didn't you mention it? He said i don't know, i thought maybe you were just tired or something. ACK!

Wish me luck. I probably won't have answers tomorrow, but my fingers are crossed that my dr is willing to run all the necessary tests to rule out any heart issues!

And thanks again for the support!