When I'm in a severely depressed state, I magnify all my mistakes and difficulties, and especially my imagined negative impact on others. I have the same thoughts that you expressed, that I take and don't give back, that I'm cold and unloving, etc. etc. That is the lying voice of depression talking. It causes such miserable distortion in thinking, and makes you feel utterly worthless. It's not true!! I've always been completely amazed to be thanked for sharing my pain, and told that someone could identify with the feelings, and that it gave them courage to talk about their issues more openly. I thought that I was just being a toxic rain cloud, self-absorbed, melodramatic, etc. etc. I still fall into that kind of thinking in those dark times. And then I get reminded of how much incredible love and kindness is here.

So, please stay and please keep talking. You are every bit as deserving of support and compassion as anyone else.