Whenever I've gone off meds (anti-depressants) in the past, even though they didn't work that well, the rebound effect was awful. I don't know if this is part of what's going on for you. What was the reason that you discontinued your meds? I hope that you continue to open up to your therapist. I've had to call a crisis hotline 4 or 5 times over the past few months. I hope that things get better for you soon.