Welcome to PC, hoss. (Please try a few more paragraph breaks in your posting, it makes it easier to read and then respond )

The loss of a favorite pet is a traumatic event for anyone! I'm sorry for this. Always found that the only thing that helps that hole in the heart is a new pet.

I think you should still see a T (therapist.) And share your thoughts and concerns. Ts help us learn to work through life issues, so that as other events come along, we handle them better. Learning these things early in your life would be a great asset to your adult life, imo.

Again, welcome.