I think it is starting to sink in why my t says that my reactions are based on the past with my mom. It is because something gets me triggered. . .then i start thinking my t is doing the same thing my mom did. . .which then causes me to react to t the way i reacted to mom. But in reality, t is not doing what my mom was doing. So my reaction to t does not "fit" the situation with t.

1. As a child, my parents work all day, then go out often at night, leaving me with babysitter. I beg mom not to go, but to stay home with me. Mom goes anyway. I cry and feel separation pain.

2. My parents call to say they stopped at a bar on the way home from work and will be home in an hour. 3 hours go by, and i am at the window, stomach in knots. I think they must of had a car accident and are lying there dead somewhere.


FAST FORWARD to NOW:

1. T goes on vacation.

2. Adult me knows everything is fine. But child part of me feels separation pain and anxiety.

1. T goes to see family.

2. Adult me knows everything is OK. But child part of me feels separation pain and anxiety.

1. T takes several weeks off in a 4-month span.

2. Separation anxiety reaches panic level. I lose my adult thought process. I think my t is wanting to abandon me and i'm losing the relationship. I feel all kinds of emotional pain and suffering and decide i need to reduce sessions and pull away.

But in reality, nothing bad is happening.