((((((((((((EV)))))))))))))

I just want you to know that I've read this. This is a really hard, individual, question...which requires an individual response as everyone and everything involves from one to the next.

I can tell you that I STILL haven't told my hubby much after 19 yrs. of marriage. He didn't even know that I was abused until about 3 yrs ago, and still doesn't know the extent.

When we've discussed it, I've taken his cue as to whether or not to go further. He would clench his jaw, because he felt angry for me, and I would say no more. He wanted to know no more either. I think it made him angry and to feel helpless.

That's the only suggestion that I would have, I guess. I would "give a little" and check his responses to see if it's safe for you (he's showing understanding, etc.) to tell more, and if you think he can handle more.

I know that others here might not agree with me and believe in full disclosure. However, my hubby and I talked very honestly about this a couple of months ago and I told him that T was pushing me to tell him more. I told hubby that I told t, "Hubby doesn't want to know more. I've brought it up many times and he doesn't pursue it." I then looked at hubby for response to see if I was right once and for all. He said, "I don't think I could handle more without blank blank". I had my answer. Hubby is a man who would feel that he would need to act now, even though it was then if that makes sense. It's worked out for the best all the way around, because quite frankly, there's alot about me that I just don't want him to know as I haven't yet dealt with it.

With respect and wishing well,

KD