Obviously, I cannot tell you whether or not you have BPD because I'm not a professional and I don't know you. But, it does sound like even if you don't have the full-blown disorder that you may have some traits of it. Another important thing to remember is that not everyone with BPD manifests the symptoms in the same way. If you talk to ten people diagnosed with BPD, you will get ten different perspectives about the disorder.

Have you asked your psychiatrist about the possibility of BPD?

I hope that you are doing okay... take care of yourself.