((((((((broken_hearted))))))))

Some days I hate my marriage, other days I love it. That can change 20 times a day depending on what he says/does/doesn't do/I say/I don't do. This is very typical of BPD. My marriage sounds so much like yours.

You are not crazy and your feelings are not crazy. Great that you started DBT classes. They can really help. Hang in there on the classes. Some things take time, but you will get there.

As far as "Can you shed any light on how I can see this differently?" you need to take one day, one moment at a time. Think them through and you will slowly change with the DBT classes. I can say that I have changed but I still have those moments. The more you work at it, the more you change, it will, and give it time. I know not something any of us feel we have. We want the wand to be waved our our heads and our minds to start thinking correctly immediatly. At least that is what I always asked my T to do.