((((((((((KJB1985))))))

I feel your pain. I feel it in every word you wrote here. I can say I have been there, still there in some of it now. Your son seems to be your saving grace. Mine is and he is what I look to every day. He is why I get out of bed every day.

"But I cant, my family needs me my son needs me and i need to be strong. But how long can i do this, when will it go away." I get this, and I wish I had some answer for you. I live this everyday too.

"yes i have alot to deal with but there are people that have it alot worse." Don't ever feel others have it alot worse. Everyone is different and your deal is just as important as anyone elses. You deserve to feel better. You deserve the help that you need to get better. I wish I had something more encouraging to say other than, I am right there with you. I get your feelings and just don't give up. Your son needs you. He needs you more than anything. You are a blessing to him. If he is what keeps you going then focus on him to get you through until you get the help you need.