I agree with Lee on this; don't worry about these things right now. In regards to Germany, I don't think you necessarily have to end the relationship. If he decides to go, then you should have a conversation with him, reminding him of the agreement you two had come up with. Make it VERY clear your feelings on drinking, smoking, and whether or not you two have an exclusive relationship. It is perfectly within you're right to end the relationship if your opinions don't mesh. If they don't, these are very serious things that could lead to a lot of heartache for you.

As to the military, you could always recommend the Coast Guard. They don't go to war the same way the Marines or Army do, or even the Air Force. Generally they'll stick to the coasts, be involved with some drug running busts, etc. My mother tells me they have the best bases

The only thing I would take a hard look at NOW would be the fact he thinks you're trying to control him. The two of you might want to sit down and have a conversation about why he feels that way. Try to stay calm, learn the reasons he thinks this, find out if they're valid, and if they are, compromise to figure out a way to balance the relationship. If they're not valid, explain to him why you're doing the things you're doing and how you don't see that as being controlling. The key thing is to try to stay calm during this conversation and stay away from blaming and defensiveness in both of you. Again, if the two of you cannot see eye to eye on this issue, perhaps it would be time for the two of you to let yourselves go your separate ways. You deserve to be with someone that loves you, trusts you, and want the best for your relationship. Don't settle for anything less than that.

Take care!