Hey squiggle,

I have had sessions were i go numb and cant answer and i end up hating myself for it.
I do think that you were projecting your anger onto her that you were really feeling for yourself- feeling the need to blame her for your feelings and behaviour to avoid taking ownership yourself.
I think she sounds like a great therapist (sorry but i am being honest) - one who lets you be you, who doesnt react badly to agression, who accepts contact between sessions, who trys to provide insight etc.
Deep down it sounds like you really like her too or at least value her help if you were panicked about ending the session early or having an 18 day gap - does that not suggest you find her supportive?

She is trained not to answer your questions or take the lead in making decisons for you or pushing you into things because clients in therapy are vulnerable and often very impressionable. Also there will come a day when shes not there and you will need to answer these questions yourself, so shes only there to make you think about things, lightly challenge when nesscary and listen.
You cannot demand someone to be agressive with you just because you pay her - a therapist who is agressive is dangerous to their clients. But what she did do was accept your aggression without criticism - not many therapists would accept a client swearing at them or even doing so via email, as its just seen as counter productive.

I know you prob wont like my answer but I am being honest. It sounds like you have a therapist who wants to help but she can only do so much and this is upsetting for you and makes you feel angry as you want her to sort things out more and take charge, thats understandable. Maybe when your in a more stable place you will see the good side to the session you had and be able to get something productive from it

all the best
Diz