YOU ARE NOT DOING A HORRIBLE JOB. You are uncertain and trying something new, but it's not critical that you stay on break; nor is it critical that you go back; you and DH had a misunderstanding, and he really does love you, and you really love him; which will go far.

Why don't you let T answer yr email/phone call, and then see how you are? If you want to talk to him on phone would he do that? If you want to come see him, I am sure he will find room for his favorite client.

you are feeling as if you're on the tightwire with no safety net - but it's there, Tree, you are OK. please try to breathe and be at peace. You are doing fine and you have lots of options.