Wow! The way I see it is that you are way ahead of the game here. You recognize a pattern of behaviour, can name it and own it.

yes, you've been blindsided by it, but you know what it is.

Remember when you said that you had more of your therapist internalized than you realized? What do you think he would say? What would you say to someone who came to you with this problem?

Can you write out how you feel and what may or may not be true about that? Given the fact that you can't change the situation, how would you change how you are reacting to it?

If you had no fear whatsoever what would you do right now?

Can you laugh?

What if I told you my new favorite bumper sticker is "I brake for boiled peanuts".

I ran across a quote the other day that I really like:
Life is impossible, and we live it everyday.

All will be well Tree, this will pass.

Life is impossible and we live it everyday.