Tree - I totally relate to the fear of people getting mad at me. It is a trigger for me too. Mine is more focused on a "getting into trouble" fear.

But I have a question - does your H know this about you? Have you been to couples counseling? Since I started seeing T, I have been able to explain to my H some of my triggers and he has been very supportive and very understanding. Can you talk to your H about this?

Also, since you must have worked on this issue with T in the past, there must be some good coping skills that you received at that time. Can you remember what they are? Can you use them now?