Allme, I can totally sympathize with you. I lived with my husband's brother for many years and the best he would do was play video games all day long and work. Something my therapist once told me was we are not responsible for what might happen to someone else. In my case I wanted to leave my husband, but he threatened to kill himself. I didn't want that on my head, but my therapist helped me realize if he took that action it is no way my fault. I know it is a hard one to swallow, but it makes sense. I know you love your brother and are in fear of his well being, but like everyone has said, you need to set boundaries and a time limit for him to get it together. Know it is for your well being and the relationship with your husband. You are not at fault for the choices your brother chooses.