I hear you Caroline--I know exactly what you are talking about. It is scary to remember that. Was for us. I don't know what yours means or why. I know what our experience was and why we flew away--It will come when you are ready. don't push it or try to figure it out.

We still fly in our dreams, but its a good flying and it is a happy flying--no out of the body but just freedom above everything and like a bird.
w_i