I have had obsessions about race and not liking whites or Latinos. No white person has ever done anything to me to warrant hating all white people and no Latino has either. A cruel private message from a Latino was the catalyst for why I "feel" the way that I do. I know it is an obsession, but it is hard to shake. I am black and I have wondered how others feel about me or about blacks in general. It is not hard to believe that people are racists. I am from the South after all. But I have had these thoughts for a while now and they are bothersome. I just think that there are racist individuals everywhere, but I have never experienced much racism where I am from. I feel that the thoughts are intrusive and it makes me feel rather pathetic. I am especially concerned with Latin America and their treatment of blacks. I am obsessed with Latin America, though I have never been there. I don't know any Latin Americans personally outside of the internet. But with what I read, it is as if some Latinos think they are better than blacks, period. I had an interest in wanting to go to Mexico or Brazil, but I no longer have that interest and now I just want to overcome these thoughts. I am so embarassed to talk about this to other people. What shall I do?

I have had thoughts about race since I was young. I used to be able to watch tv shows about race, but now I find it cringeworthy. Is it the disorder? It has also caused me to have a mistrust of white people in particular. I have often wondered why black people should even like white people. I still wonder however, what white people think of black people. In reality, I don't think about race and the issue doesn't bother me. But with OCD, it is a rather upsetting issue. I have been around bigots, who hate and disrespected people because of their race. I just wondered if black people are the most misunderstood, stereotyped, oppressed, and hated race or group of people in the world. I have these thoughts and my compulsions are about going to race forums against my better conscience, namely Stormfront.

I feel better now talking about it. I wish I could just stop. I would like to do that, but it is easier said than done.