Thanks for all of your replies. I figured that many of you would be on her side. Maybe I will in a few days, but right now I am wondering what she is there for? What exactly is her job? To be a sounding board? To listen to all my crap? To give me a pat on the back when I do something good?

Have you ever asked yourself that question? What is the therapist doing for you? She sits in the chair and listens to you talk. That's a pretty great job to get paid that kind of money to sit and listen to people talk about their issues. Aren't they supposed to do anything else?

I want her to initiate more than she does. I know that sessions are supposed to be "all about me", but ME needs some help sometimes! I do not want to do all the talking. I want her to DO SOMETHING besides sit there and look at me!

She knows that I have this issue about her getting close to me. Like sitting next to me on the couch. She KNOWS that I want to get past that. Why can't she say, "Would you like to try to work on your hesitation to have me sit close to you? Are you comfortable working on that today?"

Now what is wrong with her initiating that? Sometimes I cannot do that on my own. I need for her to take the lead. I send her plenty of emails to keep her fully aware of what I am thinking and feeling. She can take something from that and work with me in our session. As you can tell, I am still upset about it all.

I do not want to go to therapy to have this strange kind of relationship. What is she doing for me other than listening to me vent, cry, and complain about how pitiful my life is? I have done this for a year now. What now? Where are we going now? There are no more skeletons, no more stories, nothing I can pull out that would shock her.

Mad at her? Yes, I am. Do I feel guilty for that? Yes, I do. Has she helped me at all? Yes, she has. So why am I so upset? I do not see this as any kind of breakthrough at all. What exactly did I break through on? Other than the fact that I am highly ticked off at her, nothing good came from a session of sitting in silence and allowing her to STARE AT ME the whole time.

I know that some of you are grinning about now because you have been through this. You know that I will more than likely be on here in a week or so sharing about how fabulous therapy is. That makes me even madder!! To know that I am going to be eating my words when I get past this anger!

But if I may take this time to express my anger....I am mad.... and I would like to tell her just how mad I am at her!