First for a mother-in-law to suggest you have an abortion is horrible, then to do it in fear of this man leaving you. . .well I personally do not know if such a man is worth staying with, I do not think you are crazy, just maybe have been controlled by him and his mom?
Do you think he doesn't trust you cause you left your first husband for him? Were you both seeing each other before your divorce? If so that maybe why he doesn't trust you?
Sorry for the questions but I am trying to figure out what some of the reasons are for your problems.
Is his job creating stress causing him to be edgey? That can cause a person to act in ways they may have not before, especially if he feels burdened by having to support a family, I know that doesn't dismiss his disrespect for you as much as you claim he has been.
I'd suggest a marriage counselor if he would agree to seeing one, in hopes of saving this marriage.
I just feel skeptical of his mom's power over your relationship with him, that sounds terrible that this woman had that sort of power over you to abort your own baby.
If I were you I would try to get away from this setup, if he doesn't want to seek help to save your marriage.
I would never allow any person to take that much power and control over me or my body, sometimes we have to stand up to people trying to control our lives, never make yourself a slave to anyone, you are a free individual, you can make choices for yourself, your place on this earth is just as important as anyone else. You want to set a good impression, be a role model for your kids, I am sure you do, so do not let them grow up seeing their mom being controlled and disrespected, that is how they may come to disrespect you and others out in the world.
Maybe you have already, but if you haven't try hard to set time aside to talk to your husband, tell him just what you told us and exclaim to him he is hurting you and it isn't good for the kids to be in that kind of environment. Tell him you would like to go for counselling, it may help you two out with all of this. Oh, and if I were you I wouldn't allow my mother-in-law in my home or even be around my kids, if she can urge you to abort her own "would be" grandchild what kind of monster could possibly have true love for her other grandchildren, write this person off and out of your life, you are worth so much more than to be around such kind of people.
I wish I could have the right things to say that would be like magic, but I am so flabberghasted by your situation, but her are some hugs for you
(((((((((((((((((((( alexandria )))))))))))))))))

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"darkeyes"

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON