I am new to this board. Glad to have found it. I fall into a variety of these forums from anxiety to possible eating disorder, depression etc etc... I am majorly afflicted right now and desperately seeking a support system.
I am a mother of a 14 yr old boy and a 5 month old girl -married 2 years - my husband has told me just after Christmas that he does n ot love me, cannot love me, and wants to leave...
He did this same thing last year...and both times, I said "okay , good luck".... he leaves, then he comes back saying he is confused...doesnt know what he wants... in the meantime< i am heartbroken...he is involved emotionally with another girl...same girl he left me for last year...they work together... I suck it up....
I am so broken and confused... I have given so much, changed so much...(necessary change on my part), I am patient and tolerant and loving...and I am met with just a courteous housemate...who shares in the bills and care of our infant... he might hit me up for sex once a week or every other week...basically he doesnt desire me... I have become extremely underweight and was referred today by my OB to a nutritionist for counseling... I can eat because I am so strung out and anxious and sad and afraid...
I let go...he comes back... I feel relieved for a bit, and then the rejection starts again... I am tolerant because I know how he grew up... abused, rejected, hated, tortured... but he will not get help... he connects emotionally instead with another woman who "understands" him... meanwhile... I am alone and afraid and starving for attention/love/ anything at all...
We have a new baby and a brandd new house that we just built and moved into... I dont know if I can afford it on my own... and I dont want to uproot my son AGAIN for the 4th time in 3 years... he has had enough trauma/change/loss in his life... Im lost. I am desperate. I need friends. I need support. I need answers. I am not thinking clearly...
Recently went to GP and got put on prozac and xanax for panic... that was a couple weeks ago... its helping keep me from going crazy...but the pain is making me feel like I am going to die.
I think I need to divorce, separate... Im having trouble giving up on the chance that he could love me....mahybe this is just a phase... maybe its not.