((((((happycheeks)))))))

I too have done some of these things you have described. Don't give up, I can't express to you how much your feelings can change. You can FEEL WONDERFUL again! Whoever said that to you was WRONG.

Please take care of yourself - is there someone in your life you can call or go to, can you call a doctor or therapist, can you go to the ER?

I care about you and want you to feel better (((((Happycheeks)))))