Quote:
Originally Posted by Improving
dizgirl, I'm sorry this hurts so much. 
Just wanted to say that I too have gone through life seeking a woman to be my mother (can really relate to the examples of health care workers and teachers), and for a long time I was consumed with grief that my T couldn't be my mother.
Does your T know how you feel? Does she know about the wishing and the anger towards her daughter and the pain you're in? Could you tell her? |
Thanks for being so understanding its so nice to know that I am not the only one feeling these things. I think I am still grieving for what i'll never have as its really upsetting.
She knows I wish she was my mother and she knows I hurt because I will never have it but she doesnt really know how I feel about her daughter because I dont want her to feel annoyed at me thinking about her children like that because she already keeps strict boundaries and I dont want her to get even worse with them. Also even though she knows how much it hurts, theres nothing she can do about it and she has said things like - you wont have another mother or an adopted one, no one is going to hold you or stroke your hair or face etc at least not without wanting something in return (as love isnt uncondition usually from other people)...its the reality but it feels like someone is reaching into my chest and sqeezing my heart until it explodes when she says these things.
