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Apr 02, 2011, 09:58 AM
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Member Since: Mar 2011
Posts: 53
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Okay well here's what happened. First of all, i did not sleep well AT ALL the night before, so that didn't help matters.
First of all i didn't sleep well last night because of worry about today.
Then i find out that the step-mil, the one whom i thought was safe and not screwing me around, after talking to MIL and x, realize she's telling one person X while another person Y and another person Z, depending on who she's talking to. For example, she promised she wouldn't tell MIL about my being hospitalized last month. I already knew she broke that promise which already had me peeved. But she said she didn't really tell her WHY just that i had a setback. Uh-huh. MIL asks me today if i've been hearing things etc, cuz she heard through the 'grape vine' that i had been hallucinating. She knew the whole story.  That is just one example, there are others. So i am left -yet AGAIN- with broken trust of those whom i THOUGHT i could trust.
Court was at 9:30. We hit lunchtime, and then were told to come back at 2. At 3 i had to leave for my dr apt so i waited ALL DAY in court to not even get to be there when it was done.
Get to dr. My dr office is a teaching office, so you usually see a resident, then they confer with the dr, then meet with you together. I got the ONE resident that i have NEVER EVER been able to stand. Great. By this point i have a raging headache already and when i saw him come in i though oh crap. He asks why i'm there. I tell him after looking up liver symptoms to look out for i found out increased ALT can be a sign of heart damage, and the fact that they told me last month i may have damaged my heart, and with the cyanoisis and other symptoms now i'm freaing out and want further testing on my heart. He starts going on about how my liver enzymes aren't THAT high, and he can check for further liver damage if i want.. i'm like no, i'm not worried about my liver, i'm worried about my heart. Around and around we go, him keep offering 'advice' and 'testing' for my LIVER, and me telling him it's my HEART i'm worried about.
So. He prints out the ecg from the hospital and says, 'oh yes, it shows a prolonged QT, which can cause sudden cardiac death.' He asks if i have a family history of heart issues, i said yes almost every single one of my moms 12 siblings, including my mom's sister who died suddenly at age 20 from... sudden cardiac arrest. He then proceeds to tell me about liver testing etc.
Yesss, i am serious. I am fuming mad by this point. I reiterated, and yes, was pissy, said, 'you are not listening, i am NOT worried about my LIVER.' he said, *ahem* 'well, you must not have explained it very well, try explaining it better so i can understand your concerns, because i am willing to run more liver tests.'
 
I said HEART HEART HEART!!!! I said, look, i have an extreme anxiety disorder, and i am telling you right now, PARTICULARLY now that you just casually throw out there that 'oh yeah, your ecg shows something that can result in sudden death', that i will freak out until i get testing to reassure me that i'm not going to fall over and have a heart attack!!!! Ugh. HOW is that not clear?!
He says, no kidding, 'no, not heart attack, that's when the blah blah blah happens. What shows on your ecg is known to simply and suddenly cause your heart to stop beating altogether and you just die within minutes. But your heart is fine now. Now if you want liver testing...
I said you know what? i'm fine. Seirously, fine. He said well do you have any more questions? um, NO. You sure? yes, i'm sure. Absolutely NO more questions for you. He said, okay i'll be right back, i'll go get the doctor..
I walked out before the dr came back. I simply could not face that stupid f#$%ing idiot for one more second. How he so nonchalantly throws out the 'yep, this is a condition that can kill you any second without warning' thing, then suddenly decides (maybe he's a human xray machine? superpowers to see inside ones body with his eyes?) my heart is 'now fine' ???? .. to someone who has a severe anxiety disorder.
Yeah, Thanks.
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