You already disrespected her by saying it in an email, so your reluctance to tell her face to face is probably about something else.

I don't think she needs to know it before your session, although you may feel a need to tell her this. I think bringing this up at your session would be soon enough for her to know. She sounds like a good enough therapist that she can deal with what the client brings to session and doesn't need to prepare herself in advance for your anger. You have sent her a great email and told her, and this probably relieved some anxiety in you.

Squiggle, I don't think your T sounds like she is doing anything particularly unusual for a T. She's letting you choose what to talk about. She is giving you space (and silence) in session to feel things and to say them to you. She is not getting angry at your behavior or reacting negatively when you are mad at her. This is all good and standard. She's pretty much going by the book and doing a good job of it. You don't like these standard techniques and have mentioned that your T is getting training in another method: Emotional Freedom Techniques. Do you think you will like and be helped by the methods of EFT more than the techniques your T is currently using? In your email to T, you wrote that you are tired of talking about the same topic in therapy all the time. If you are sick of that, then change the topic! Since she doesn't like to be directive, she would probably like this, right? What would you like to talk about in therapy?

The way therapists assess whether a person is depressed or manic is in part by asking them questions. You asked her if she thought you were entering depression and she started to try to find that out by asking you questions. This is the standard way to assess depression. But when she tried to comply with your request, you got mad at her for asking questions. Seems like there is something bigger going on here if you even get mad at her for trying to do what you ask her to.

You say you want her to set an agenda based on your emails. Why don't you review your emails before session, type out an agenda with a few items, and then hand her the agenda at the start of the session? This might be easier than telling her the agenda outloud--kind of like an ice breaker? What would probably happen if you let her set the agenda based on your emails is that she would undoubtedly choose something from your emails that you didn't think the most important to work on. And then you might be angry at her for focusing on the "wrong" things. Miscommunication! You read here on PC that the therapist does not get the same message from the email that the client wishes them to get, so this could easily happen. Why not make communication easier and tell her what you most want to work on?

Maybe that suggestion is just something that does not hit the mark for you, because I'm wondering if effective communication is important to you now? All this talk of you want her in your face.... Until you resolve that, it may be hard to move forward.

Squiggle, it's really hard for many people to get to that place where they've learned to make use of therapy and the expertise and wisdom and relationship that their therapist offers. (I'm still working on it.) It can take time! You are a year into therapy, and you are putting a lot of effort into it, as evidenced by your posts. You are still going regularly. To me it sounds like you are making progress, even if you don't see it or think therapy is worth it. Maybe if you shake things up a bit in therapy, it would help you move through this frustrating phase more quickly. Could you try to do things differently in some way than you have been? Like how about trying a month of not emailing but doing your expressing of emotion in session? That might help shake things loose. Or some other idea? I wonder if your T might be trying to help you shake loose by changing the frame on you (having therapy a different day each week)? Sometimes even changes like this can help a person break free.

Well, mine does a lot more than sits there. He is very expressive himself and doesn't hide that from me. We have a close relationship so he provides that. And he talks back to me, but he does not initiate the topics or set agenda. When I am silent, so is he so that whatever comes up in me has the space to surface. He gives empathy and positive regard. Gosh, he does so much! Are you sure your therapist isn't doing more than sit there too?

Squiggle, you speak so much about who is right, the therapist or you, and how it seems to you that PC members are taking the "side" of the therapist. I don't see it that way. I think you and your therapist are on the same side. I want to see you have success in therapy too--that's the side I'm on!