Hello, all - I've been battling depression for almost my entire life (I'm 37 and I think the depression started when I was 8 or 9...maybe younger). It seems like no matter how much I sleep, I don't have any energy...and, I can't get up in the morning. It's affecting my relationship with my husband. Here's what happened this morning:

My husband woke me up and asked me if I wanted to work out. I said, "no, you go ahead". "I'll do mine later." Then, he poured cold water on me. I got mad at that point and went upstairs to change clothes (and lay down and cry). This angered him because I'm impossible to get up - and I had promised to work out with him from now on (I need to lose some weight). But, we didn't agree on a time. Anyway, he told me to be there in 5 minutes or our relationship is over. I wasn't there in 5 minutes. So, he yelled at me to pack one minute after his 5 minutes were up. And, he told me that I'm fat and he can do better than me. I do need to lose some weight, but he needs to lose the same amount. That really hurt my feelings...but, I know that I need more energy to do the things I need to do and live a full life.

I know I need to have more energy and get up in the morning...I was wondering if maybe I should start drinking coffee to wake up in the morning. He's never experienced clincal depression, so he really doesn't understand what I'm going through and he's not supportive. Sometimes I think he's abusive, but sometimes I think it's me. I wonder if I should leave this relationship? I'm scared. He's a good guy most of the time, but he's also very controlling sometimes (not always). It's hard for me because of the depression...it just complicates it when he does things like that...

I got up and did my work out to save my marriage, but I've felt even more depressed and had zero energy all day.