Welcome to PsychCentral!

Couple of things:

- Do you have a therapist, or a doctor you can discuss your depression with? If you don't I really recommend it since you can't just pull yourself out of depression without some sort of help. Many people who have depression find that a med and therapy combo works best, but do whatever you think might work.

- Your husband does sound kinda abusive, but it could also be that he doesn't know how to help. But telling you that the relationship is over if you don't do things with/for him is manipulative, which is abusive.

- To get better energy: Get a proper sleep schedule, waking up at the same time, going to bed at the same time for at least 3-4 weeks. Eat proper meals, get some amount of exercise and definitely get outside and get some sun (Vitamin D is good for mood and energy).

- Coffee won't wake you up necessarily. Most of coffee's effects are completely psychological and not actually physiological. I don't know the exact stat, but it takes at least an hour for caffeine to work in your system but people falsely claim that they feel better after the first sip - it's a lot in your head, expecting that it will work. Your body can also fight against the caffeine, and if you're chronically exhausted caffeine can also work in the exact opposite way - making you more tired.

I hope that may help some, welcome again and keep posting!