Thank you for your kind words of support. This sent me into the ugly cry. I am sobbing right now. I desperately want out of this lifestyle. I feel so guilty for saying this. Taking it one day at a time is all that I can do. The only real support that I get (other than from therapy) is to come in here on PC and talk about things.

I don't mean to sound so angry and vent so much. I know that makes me sound like a mean aggressive person. You guys are the only ones who see that side of me. I think I may need to tone it down a bit. I read back through some things I have posted and I don't like what I see. But, it is who I am, at least part of who I am.

Therapy is about being authentic and true to yourself. When you read my threads/posts you are seeing that. If I can't be honest with myself, I do not need to post. It is much easier to come in here and make myself look like this great person who does not have any issues. Unfortunately, that would be a lie. I do have issues and I am trying to work through them with my therapist, as well as, in this forum.

I think I will probably cry myself to sleep tonight. Not a bad thing. I just need to. I think it will make me feel better.

Thanks again for your compassion.