So lately alot of stuff has been going on... my best friend left me, and i loved him too..... he said he wanted to be friends again... made the effort once and then stopped.. and now he's ignoring me...

another thing... i'm over-weight and my dad gets upset when i eat food and i now hate food.. he get's really mad too...

my dad's having health issues and i'm afraid that he'll die at any moment...

my mom and dad are miserable being together and they would have divorced a long time ago if it weren't for me... i can't help but feel that i'm the cause for every argument they have..

everything just became.. overwhelming so i took a sterile razor blade and cut my upper thigh. it felt so good, like it released everything. i forgot about the boy. it was and is bliss. the pain makes me concentrate on something else instead of my problems. I sterilized the single cut...

why does it feel so good?

Thank you for reading... i needed to vent.

ps.. i have chronic depression and sorry if this doesn't make much sense!