I went to therapy, felt disgusted by the affection I developed toward my therapist, ended the therapy, and now I feel the need to find a woman, treat her the way my therapist treated me, I want to very nice to her until she loves me, and once she is completely attached to me and dependent on me, I want to kick her out of my life - at best due to some lame excuse, at worst no explanation given.

If she can't cope with her emotions, if she panics, if she becomes depressed, if she does something stupid, I will rest knowing that my only "crime" was giving her love.

I know that my desire to see a woman go through what I went through is immoral and I am ashamed to admit it, but I honestly think that's the only way to heal the pain that I endured while I was in therapy.