Yea Ideally it should be an open topic like it used to be years ago.

Course for me even if it was I probably wouldnt talk with her about it. not due to any problems just from past experiences I made a decision years ago that my friends know more about me then my therapists. The experience actually had nothing to do with suicide - a therapist was unjustly fired. she took them to court and won but her getting fired left me hanging on a very thin last thread not knowing where to turn from that day on I made myself a promise and also told that therapist I would never let another therapist in to that level of trust and dependancy for their being there ever again. She didn't like my saying that of course, and in the 15 therapy professionals that came after her only one was able to reach that level and thats only because we both knew when she was no longer my therapist we would be remaining friends and even then once she was no longer my therapist she got shocked by how much she didnt know until after we had chosen a new therapist.

For other survivors yea ideally suicidal thoughts should be ok to talk about. For me either way nothing would change. Im the one running my therapy program so I already get to choose what I do and discuss with my therapist. Sometimes having this much freedom actually leaves me with the "I can't make the decision syndrome" LOL but it works for me.

Night all.. trying to get myself back to sleeping nights so I can see if my nightmare pattern is still the same. Hopefully if my staying up all day worked I will not see you all until morning.Take care.