Are you seeing a T? These are some things you need to be aware of (Cycling and episodes) but you cannot obsess about it. Else we'll never allow ourselves to be truely happy.
I am doing the same; hence I'm not able to let my T go - what if things go wrong? I think you need to ensure your back-up plans are in place, and then allow yourself to be happy and move forwards.
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"I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. Robert H. Schuller"
Current dx: Bipolar Disorder Unspecified
Current Meds: Epitec (Lamotrigine) 300mg, Solian 50mg, Seroquel 25mg PRN, Metformin 500mg, Klonopin prn
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