So it goes, it sounds like you have a lot more control in your life than you are seeing right now. I can understand why you are feeling so helpless and lost. You have been through a lot. You are really suffering right now, and trying to do the best you can. But you are not completely at the mercy of other people.

You have decided you don't want to deal with hassle from the court and you've decided to stop fighting your ex about her behavior. Part of the reason for that is that you need to take care of your own life (staying functional, avoiding extra complications) and you don't have much extra to give to your daughter right now. You have decided it's worth it to give up some freedom in order to see your daughter on the weekends.

It is totally reasonable to make those decisions. I just hope you see that you DO have some control in this situation. You are making the choice not to cause fights with your ex or go to court. You are making the choice to keep seeing your daughter (for her) even though your ex makes things difficult.

Does that idea give you a better feeling about your life? You have very difficult situations you are dealing with, and you have coped with them the best you can right now. As TheByzantine suggested, there are ways to change the situation when you decide to do so.

In the meantime, I really suggest talking to a therapist about some of these issues. I really feel for you--it sounds like you feel sad and hopeless a lot of the time. A therapist can really help you.

I understand that you are working especially hard right now and money is tight, but there are ways around that. You need to make yourself a priority; you are worth an hour a week to talk to someone and help yourself get better. We can definitely help you to problem solve that in a constructive way if you're interested. I hope you keep posting. I am sending good thoughts your way.