Quote:
Originally Posted by Ygrec23
Poor Distressed,
You are caught in a culture clash and I'm afraid there's no great way of compromising between the two. You've obviously adapted to the US and accepted and enjoyed the freedom and independence the US extends to all female people. And then you go "home" and find out you can't be an "American" woman in your home country without paying a high price. I very much doubt that there's a happy resolution to the problem if you have to stay there. Though I'm an American male, I've lived in several other countries, am married to a woman from a very different country and have been friends through a long life with several women (and men) from very different cultures.
There is what one might call the "wisdom" solution. And that means, after you've adjusted to American mores, being able to go back to your first country and pretend you're one of them. Pretend you never left. Accept, for the short time you're there, that you know and accept all the strict rules applying to your gender in that country. You won't like it, but it won't kill you.
Where you will ultimately wind up spending the rest of your life is a huge, huge part of the issue. Having had a long experience of Western countries by being in America, it would be a very difficult thing to re-adjust, for the rest of your life, to your original culture. Isn't there some way for you to come back here?
The best of luck to you. Take care. |
Thank you for your response. I wanted to clarify that its not a "gender" issue, its an "age" issue. We are taught to give respect to our elders but at times some elders may use that to their advantage.
Although this issue involves a bit of culture, its more of a personal issue, since if i stand up for myself, I think about what others will think, which is both a personal as well as a cultural issue.
Also, I made a decision to stay here, although there are some things that might irk me about my country (well, now its both this country and US since I feel like I belong in both places - US is very much "home" as this country is for me..) .. there are things that are just as wonderful, just as is true for any other country and individual. Good and Bad co-exist.
Also, I'd like to mention that the same freedom that exists for women in US also exists in many other countries. So, we can't truly define it as "american". I'm not sure what "countries" you were talking about visiting/lived in... or what year that was...
because there's gender problems in corporate America as well, where women can be treated lower than men, or payed lower than men, etc... There's discrimination based on "whatever" reason one may want to find, in EVERY country, whether its race, money, status, power, etc.. you name it, its there.
Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post.
