Enjoy that nap--you deserve it! You've sure been on the roller coaster the last couple of days.

It's great that you could come to PC to express what happened and then honestly respond to the posts here! (Don't worry, I won't say the f-word.)

I'm wondering if some of the silence and wanting her to lead has to do with your T being an authority figure. Are you the sort of person who likes to give the "right" answer? Do you want her to lead things because you're afraid of doing it wrong?

Or is it that you kind of want her to be your caretaker and provide for your needs without you asking, maybe? Someone said they worked up to writing notes to their T in person. Could you print your emails, and if you're silent you could point to the part you're thinking about or want from her? Maybe you could do that even if you couldn't speak, and maybe T would see that as you leading and go along with it?

Your emails and descriptions are so thorough and evocative. I'm so glad you shared what happened. I'm glad you're feeling relieved about her email. Have a relaxing Sunday!!