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I think the only T's who actually cause our pain are those who, for various reasons, shouldn't be T's. The pain we experience in a relationship with a caring, competent T is our own pain, not something our T has caused. We may not have felt the depth of this pain until we were in therapy -- maybe we were numb, or self-medicated to avoid it, or we found other ways to keep from feeling it. But it was there all along, and a good T is skilled in helping us get in touch with it so we can finally deal with it.
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