Thanks for the recent posts in reply to my thread. To: sidestepper, those familiar refrains that you mention are part of my family culture, as well (for generations.) Even when they haven't been said to me, it was scary just hearing them said by some family members about other family members. (I would hear those refrains from childhood.) I've tried to avoid being targeted by those refrains, but I've taken a few hits. Mainly, for years, I disclose less and less for fear of being judged harshly.

I am grateful to all of you above for your caring responses.