I just want to thank everyone (again) for their replies here.

It's so hard for me to not turn silence into a big ugly story in my head...actually, now that I think about it, I did that in therapy sometimes too. T would sit there quietly, giving me space, and I would think "he's thinking I'm ugly, he's wishing I would leave, he's bored, he's tired of me". Sometimes I would ask what he was thinking, and it was always something like "I was wondering why you decided to sit on the other side of the couch today" or "I was wondering if the noises outside were distracting you" or "I was honestly just sitting and giving you some space" or something like that.

I'm glad I'm giving myself the chance to apply the lessons learned in therapy to real life, and I'm glad that I'm learning what I still need to work on...but I'm not so glad that it's so hard!

Anyhow, thank you. Every reply means a lot.