Rhapsody, has he actually said those words to you? Or is this what you know from his addiction?

If he has said these words to you, then I really question his own commitment to the marriage. I believe in honesty, but some things are better left unsaid in the interests of love for the other person. And, if that's the case, then no matter how great our answers are in terms of what you hope to hear, this is not a problem that you can solve unilaterally. HE needs to be the one to find a support group and ask this same question himself. I continue to be supportive of YOU, but this is one that you should not take on to fix unless he's with you all the way.

If he hasn't said these words, then wondering about this will probably drive you into spinning in circles. Yes, loving marriages can last well after the physical beauty fades, but attraction is much more than physical beauty. I'm not sure how satisfying your marriage would be if physical beauty is all that he cares about.

The part that worries me is that you seem to be willing to do ALL of the work in this and he still holds all of the decision-making power about your relationship. What do YOU want? Let's say he never ever changes even a tiny bit -- he remains addicted and you're always going to feel the way you do right now. Would you want to face a lifetime of that? I'm not suggesting to end it... but rather that you consider your own needs instead of his right now. You've got enough on your plate without him driving you to additional worry.

What do you think?

LMo