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Apr 04, 2011, 12:30 AM
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Protoform
I think that's right. But in that case, shouldn't therapists be cautious lest they lead a vulnerable patient into a painful trap?
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Well, what I can say is that pain is relative to each person. No T, or client is going to know going into therapy how much distress the therapy is going to cause. More often than not, when a person enters therapy and begins to work their issues, the pain increases as hurtful things get brought to the surface.
Transference does not equal "falling in love" with a therapist. I am curious to know though, in what ways do you feel that your therapist has lead you into a painful trap? What sort of behaviors did she take part in?
As far as you being vulnerable, we are all vulnerable...even therapists are vulnerable. You are stating that your T made you feel love for her and you sound angry. Love is painful. It's not all rainbows and butterfly's.....it can't be. There will always be strife and sorrow in love. The important thing to learn is how to communicate through this strife and sorrow to preserve the relationship. It is okay to be angry for your pain, but at some point you need to realize that your pain is not your T's fault. It is a natural feeling to feel these types of emotions towards someone who treats you with positive regard and looks after your best interests.
Anger is often a secondary emotion which serves to protect humans from their own vulnerabilities...so instead of having to feel the love, and the hurt from not being able to have that love, the anger kicks in so you can have someone to blame.
You can research this all you want....and you can contact an attorney and consult with them, but as a non-attorney I can pretty much tell you that you do not have a case. Transference is a common occurrence in therapy. It can be very healthy for the therapeutic relationship if the client is willing to work through it with the therapist, or it can be a devastating occurrence if the client is not willing to work through it.
So, I guess it's your choice as to how you want it to go. You can choose to work with T, or whichever T you end up with and you can do what you can to process your feelings and emotions so you can have a more positive experience, or you can choose to not work through it and become a victim of yourself.
It's up to you....it really is a choice.
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