((((((((((((((((Crystal and jj))))))))))))))))) since both of you missed Christmas. happy late christmas to both of you and happy new year too.

Crystal, I'm so sorry you're going through such a rough time right now. I know that it can be hard to try and re-enter life when you've tried so hard to stay away from it. I think it might be a good idea to try to tell the other insiders how you feel...maybe Vicki could help. Just let them know that you want to be in the loop some more even though right now you don't feel up to having all the responsibilities. I bet they could help. And I think giving T a note that you want to talk is an excellent idea. I don't think she's forgotten about you, I bet she is just waiting for you to decide that you want to talk again. she knows that you needed some time to hide away. I hope that she can help so that you can get out of this dark place soon. I'm very sorry about the loss of the dog...loss is hard and it is almost inevitably triggering. I hope that you take good care of you and be gentle with yourself during this difficult time. don't expect too much too soon and don't be so hard on yourself... it's not an issue of who's at "fault" because you feel left out...it's just something going on that upsets you and that needs to be worked out with help from the rest of the constellation and your T. don't worry about blame and fault...we have enough of that without trying to find more, right?

take care and I'm here if you ever want to talk. ((((((((((((((Crystal))))))))))))))))


shadow