Dear LMo -
First off.... thanks for telling it to me straight and for making me stop an think for a minute.

Ok - now second, NO he has NEVER said you are UGLY - I feel this way because of his sexual addiction (me not looking like the images he desires to look at), then how he "use" to say that other females were pretty yet he would not or could not tell me that I was pretty, and the big one.... because when I did ask him "If I was Pretty" (years ago) - he said: Well, you are not ugly. Now what am I supposed to take that as?
When ever I bring up me being found pretty to him or not now, he does not say a word about it one way or another....

And YES, I agree that this are my husbands issue to solve and yet it frightens ME, for I have known of many of men that leave their wives once they are no longer found wanting.... attractive: physically or sexually.
While I do NOT believe he would leave me over my failing looks, for his looks have changed to and that he has told me that my value to him is not based on my looks - yet I fear for he is man and this particular man likes pretty faces & young bodys, that of which I am loosing.

And YES, I agree again that I seem to be the one doing all the work and yet he does his part to, it is just that he keeps it all in mentally..... works on it there, some times I never know the out come of his work (but it is there - I get a glimpse at times).
My husband is not a man that likes to talk about his short comings and he is happy and content as long as I am physically presence, therefore, he does not ask for much from me (like I do of him) - I guess as a female I need more relationship wise.

You ask what I want... well I want (or need) a man that can show me that he loves me, that is willing to spend time with me, that likes (desires) to be with me physically & sexually, that is willing to commit to me and me alone, a man that puts me first from time to time, a man that can still see the beauty in me as time goes by for he loves me. I want and NEED a man that leaves me feelings Love-Cherish-Wanted-Desired. I want a man that does not leave me doubting & worrying... most of the time.

I WANT TO SAVE THIS MARRIAGE....... I LOVE THIS MAN - HEART & SOUL.

And YES, I do not need this from him and yet funny as it is.... it is not him but it is ME, my mind that is giving this to me and with that I worry and have a great fear over already knowing what he likes sexually and of knowing that it is not me any more, at least not visually, but it is emotionally - well I share that with them as well..... for he seems to need us both, them (the images) and me. So, with that I am always wondering which will WIN!! - them or me?

* * * * * * *

BTW - he can and is very loving at times, when he is able to give and to receive without his own fear getting in the way, the fear of being to close to someone (a real person), hence why he tends to turn to pictures - they are not real and yet they give him affirmation that he will not let me help with (out of fear) & (effects of lust).


LoVe,
Rhapsody -