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Male T's can be very aggressive and confrontational. They are usually not as caring and compassionate as female T's.
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Male T's are ONLY aggressive and confrontational when they're faced with a patient as angry and belligerent as you are. If you drop those attitudes you'll find that male T's are as caring and compassionate as female T's.
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But if I get a female T, what if I end up falling in love with her? 
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Whether or not you "fall in love" with a female T is entirely up to you. You do have control over your own emotions, whether you realize that or not. And no female T can "make" you fall in love with her.
From what you say it sounds to me as if some part of you (maybe outside of your awareness) is thinking up anything it can to torpedo your therapy. I think you need to stand up to your unconscious, put aside those self-defeating strategies and commit yourself seriously to getting better through therapy.
Take care.
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We must love one another or die.
W.H. Auden
We must love one another AND die.
Ygrec23