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Apr 04, 2011, 10:05 AM
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Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 5,518
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Hi Distressed
I found your response to him to be appropriate. After all, there weren't a bunch of men standing around and waiting for you to leave so they could take their seats. Under the circumstances, it was a respectful response - it would have been disrespectful if you would have told him to "F-off!"  
I think it's important to respect and pay attention to our elders, but there is a difference between being an elder and just being old. An elder is someone who has earned respect among those with whom they have a connection. Elders are people who actually care about the people with whom they are connected. I show common courtesy and respect towards elderly people in public, but I don't find it necessary to obey their commands and act as their servant. I would, however, obey the commands of MY elders - because we are connected, and I know they care.
That old man in the park didn't care about you. Your only connection is the park.
If there are no men in the traditionally designated men's section, I don't see a problem with you sitting there. The same would go for a man sitting in the traditionally designated women's section.
Then again, it might have a LOT to do with appearance and comfort level. Maybe that old man wanted to sit near you in his usual section, but didn't want people to think he was sitting WITH you. Maybe he's got a very jealous wife, lol.
If the tables were turned, and you wanted some to spend some quiet time in the women's section of the park....wouldn't you find it a little rude/disrespectful if you saw a strange man sitting in your spot with his feet on the bench? Wouldn't you consider it an invasion of space, even if the space does not technically belong to you?
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