"one drink is too many and a thousand are not enough."
so glad u posted. live in the moment. the past is gone even tho you may have triggers. when we drink to avoid feelings, once we stop drinking the feelings will return. it's a vicious cycle of self-destruction. can you visualize how you'd feel about yourself if you drank? self loathing comes to mind.
at meetings have you gotten phone numbers of members as well as your sponsor? if so call them til someone answers. tell them irl how you are feeling right now...wanting to drink. no reason in the world is worth drinking over. drinking just adds to the problem.
can you get to a meeting right now by asking for a ride? do you have your own car to get to one now? can u go once hubby gets home?
we alcoholics are responsible for our own sobriety. the choice is yours of course. i hope you make good choices today. your life may depend on it.
you can pm me if you like. i'm 21 years sober, not bragging, just found a new way of living that has brought me much joy.