Hey LMo -

Ok here we go..... and before I begin let me say one thing - - I know he is trying to CHANGE and is SORRY, and even though he is painfully going thru this transition for us and the future of our marriage, I must still deal with the effects of his actions and heal from their wounds.

I understand that his LUST and his LOVE has nothing to do with me (the real person).... that he keeps them in separate boxes per say and that neither effects the other, he still loves me and needs me very much - his love has not changed. And yet while his lusting and looking did not take his LOVE away from me or diminish it.... it does and has taken his sexual desirer away from me - they (the images) have stolen that from me, that which was my right as his wife and he has allowed it.
He admits that because he has looked so much that his brain now sees them (the young slender females) as visually and sexually stimulating, and me less of that. I have been compared to them rather he meant to do it or not. One cannot look (lust) and not except their significant other to fall short in their eyes (or sexually trained brain).... our sex life has even started to suffer.

And YES, you are so right, he finds it hard to compliment any one and yet I still here it from time to time about another, so why not ME, his wife, his friend and lover? I do believe the last time he gave me a compliment was about 1 1/2 years ago.... he said I looked pretty when he stopped by the house for lunch.

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But no matter what the issues are - I still ask: Can a twenty year marriage survive when the husband no longer finds his wife attractive, in the physical sense, and yet he still loves her?

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LoVe,
Rhapsody -