My former T told me she didn't realize how I would react negatively to some of the things she said to me. She was often surprised by my reaction. Maybe because of borderline reactions.

I think that my current T is aware of the pain she's caused me by not answering all my emails anymore, and by not responding when I write about my feelings for her. She knows how it hurts when she says what's important is how I respond to my parts, not her, and when I want HER to make me feel better, not my Self. She knows because I keep telling her.

She doesn't know automatically, though. When I was afraid to mention death early in the therapy, she said "I do this all day." She was trying to reassure me it was okay to talk about it with her, but instead, I felt really hurt by her comment and told her. She hadn't understand why that comment would bother me, but said she was glad I explained it.