((((((Sundog)))))))) I just sent a PM, couldn't wait to say here how sorry I am that so many stressors have bombarded you. As you know, I share that dog-related trigger. I so hope that there's a happy ending to that story, and also hope for happiness for you, even moments at a time.

((((((SS))))))) Thank you so much for that last post. It was so beautiful and it really moved me. Far too often, I have let myself be defined by my emotional problems, losing sight of the other parts of myself that I value, and (Oh, Phoebe's feeding the kids; I shouldn't have 2 screens up, too cute)...where was I? Did I mention I have ADD? Oh yeah, not overidentifying with diagnoses .

I appreciate hearing about your experiences and strategies concerning social anxiety. I know the problem of compounding it with chastising myself for having the problem. I did try to apply some kindness and compassion once I was back home. You spoke to my feelings and thoughts exactly, about being among "normal" people who are free to just live their lives, and the loneliness of mental illness. I also have wished that I could have PC friends here in my community, people who are safe and know the terrain.

And about more consistent "prayer"/meditation, the benefit of it as well as the times of resentment of having more "work" that I have to do in order to try to feel better. When I had a regular meditation practice, I would also remember my breath more and to be present for more moments. I've used the distraction of the "musical ear syndrome" and mental foggyness as excuses to not meditate.

And hope. Yes, hope. Losing hope has made my mental state so much worse. It is vital to re-engage a sense of hope, which especially began flagging in the past few years. Whether it improves or not, one needs hope. Thanks again.