I hope you have already gone for help but I just wanted to echo everyone else.

I spent 2 weeks "researching' options and calling hotlines like the ones The Byzantine suggested before I finally went to an ER and told them "I'm contemplating SUI...can you please help me." They admitted me immediately and it was the smartest thing I could have done.

Those so called pacts people made are usually frauds and can be very dangerous people to get involved with.

Please go now, get help. You will be glad you did.