I have t today - in 6 hours - and I really, really, really just want to call and say I'm ill or something and stay home. After today my t is away and I won't see her again for 4 weeks so I know I should go. I was, up until a few days ago, really dreading the break because so much stuff has been going on and she's the only person I can talk to about it but I think my body/mind has decided to give me a break from all that and it all seems very far away right now. If there was something I needed to talk about or wanted help with before the break then it would be much easier to force myself to go but I don't want to talk about anything - I don't want to be jolted out of this break. I have pretty bad anxiety problems - to the point where I rarely leave the house - so every tuesday I seem to spend most of the day worrying about getting to t and back and wondering whether I can go and crying and generally feeling completely stressed out so that also plays into this. If it was easy for me to get there I would go today no problem. It's so much harder to force myself to go when I don't feel any need to go.

Sorry this is just one big whine I don't know what to do