When i was younger my Life was full of Life..I always knew i was different..But never knew my Life would be like this...I fought for the longest time not seeking help...My husband knew i was getting worse and got me in to the Doctor....That was in Nov 2007...But i swear to God it sometimes feels like it was yesterday..I hate not knowing how i will feel when i wake up...I live on the edge all the time from this bipoler..It truly wears me the F**K out...If i dont keep busy all the time then my mind goes into overload...I'm tired...This disease is tearing up my world...And just when i think i have control...it comes back fast ...like saying i'm here and i'm never going to leave or give you peace...to others i seem like have it all together..God if they only knew what went on behind closed doors...I miss ME!! When i started my meds thats when i started changing....And i HATE change ......I hate my Life at times ..I hate feeling like crap.....I hate not feeling Happy! But most of all I HATE not having control.........Think its going to be a pissy Day!! Oh Joy!